Phone dodging
The phone is ringing. I avoid answering it when you call. It makes me feel bad, but I just don’t want to talk. I don’t want to tell you that I don’t want to do what you want me to do. I don’t want to make plans with you. I’ve told you before that I didn’t want to answer the phone and you said it hurt your feelings. That is not my intention. I just don’t like talking anymore. I have found out that I don’t like talking to certain people because I would rather avoid the drama that gets spewed to me. You see, I have so much stuff going on in my head right now. And you go on and on and on about all this stuff that bothers you. No one ever asks me how I am doing. They just dump all their drama on me. Because I let them. Because I am a pleaser. I am a fixer. But I don’t want to be. I want to get my life in order again. I want to be happy. But you are driving me crazy.
That is not okay.
You don’t get to try to make me feel bad. Well, you can try all you want, but YOU don’t get to make ME feel bad. I am a good person. You want to control my thoughts. You want me to fawn all over you and lavish you with attention because you have something going on. But I have something going on too. And it’s just as important. You are selfish. You want everything your way. You want everything to be about you. Well it’s not. It’s not all about you. My life is about my life. I cannot control everything that happens in my life, but I can control how I feel about it and what I do about it. I am done letting you dictate how I am supposed to feel. I feel what I feel and that is okay. You want me to feel what you feel and that is not okay. It is not okay to expect me to take care of you and your feelings. I am trying to take care of me and my feelings. That is important. I am important. I have my own feelings. And that is okay.
